| I haven't updated this for forever... but let's just say my life is starting to turn around again. A few months ago I was diagnose with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder and put back on medication. And let's just say, that even just having a diagnosis made things 100 times better. Plus I have an amazing support group of friends that I can talk to about pretty much anything. I am lucky to be so blessed.
Mike and I broke up (again). I have seen him once since then as friends and it seems to be working out well. I'm seeing someone new - another ex, Adam. And let me just say... I don't think I have ever felt this way about anyone else before. Adam and I have been besties for a really long time (we dated for about a month two years ago but were really good friends before and after). We have always referred to ourselves as family and will pretty much do anything for each other. Case in point, after Mike and I broke up this last time and Adam found out that I would be alone on Christmas, he absolutely refused to let me be alone and changed all of his Christmas plans just so that he could drive me down to his grandparents so I wouldn't have to be alone. He's never kept it a secret that he's had strong feelings for me since we met years ago, but we still always had that friendship where we could talk about anything and it just became part of us and not a big deal.
But anyways, he is a Marine and came home a few weeks ago for predeployment leave. The very first place he came when he got home was my apartment to see me :) At this point I was sooo excited to see him (I have always had feelings for him too but push them back when I date other people) and the minute he got there it was awesome. He ended up kissing me that night and I'm not going to lie... fireworks. Seriously. I was shaking afterwards, and all he did was kiss me. When I was talking to April the next day, she said she had never seen me so happy and that I was practically glowing. What did I do to land this guy? I know most of the people who used to know him don't like him because he can be a real jerk, but I feel like I know him sooo much better. We have this type of sarcastic, awesome relationship where we insult each other so much and then can just look at each other, smile, and say "I love you," no harm, no foul. But now he's back in California, and he's deploying to Japan, the Phillipines, Korea, Australia, and one other place for nine months starting Tuesday. Bummer for me. :/
Anyways. Sappiness done. New Year's Resolutions:
*Email Adam once a week
*Go bungee-jumping
*Get a 4.0 next semester
*Pay off credit card bills and start putting more money aside
*Clean apartment more!
*Repierce belly button (had to come out for my surgery) | comments: Leave a comment   |
| I should really be trying to get to sleep right now. I have a Spanish test in seven hours and I didn't go to class all week last week... or the week before... so basically I might be fucked over in that class. I am hoping that having a mental breakdown and spiralling into depression is a valid excuse for missing class. Something to talk about to the teacher tomorrow and to the psychiatrist when I see them...
I feel the need to write right now. I could probably sleep, but I just want to write.
Mike came up this weekend, and like always with us it had it's really good times and it's bad times. I just wrote out this big thing detailing our weekend and the issues and then deleted it. Because it doesn't matter. We had a huge fight this weekend and Mike almost left last night instead of staying. The only thing that matters is that I thought his mind was set on driving home last night and he changed his mind. I don't know why, he wouldn't tell me, just that it was his own choice and not because of something I said. But it doesn't really matter why. All that matters is that he changed his mind and stayed the night. I can only hope that part of the reason he stayed was out of respect to me and not because he was tired but he stayed. Not only did he stay but he told me that he loved me, and he told me that he loved me this morning. Which is a big deal now because we don't say it nearly as much as he used to. The biggest deal though, is that he made an effort tonight to make me feel important in his life. He said he would be too busy to text tonight (he had plans with friends and such) but his dinner plans got cancelled and he texted! Which is another big deal because he's so busy with work and not attached to his phone anymore so he's not a big texter. We had an actual conversation, which is one of the things that I told him I had an issue with.
My parents also came up today. After hearing all the trouble I've been having, they came up and helped me unpack my room. My mom had a theory that part of the reason I felt so unsettled was because no matter where I go, I never take the time to unpack... which she says reflects the fact that I live such a go-go-go life that I never take time to just unwind. I don't know if it was the unpacking or the fact that I think I figured out what's going on with me, but right now I don't feel 100% but I feel a little better. I feel a little loved and a little calmer, although my mind is still go-go-go and I can't sleep. I have my psychiatrist visit tomorrow though. Hopefully I will come out with medication which means that in a few weeks things might start improving. Thank god, I need that.
Like I said before though, I think I know what's wrong with me now though. Of course, I'm not a psychiatrist. I know I suffer from depression, but I also think I have a generalized anxiety disorder. I was reading about it on Mayo's website and it kinda fits me to a T. The fact that if I text someone and they don't text me back within five minutes, I think they hate me. The fact that every moment I am awake I have this tightness in my chest and I feel like I'm going to explode because I can't stop thinking about something. The fact that I am easily distracted, I am tired all the time but can't sleep, I have nausea whenever I get stressed and have lost ten pounds in the past month and a halfish because I have no appetite. It's like depression and anxiety combined and they just amplify each other. The anxiety triggers my depression so I get really anxious about stuff and then depressed and just don't want to live anymore. I think that's what happened when I burned myself. I had been having such a bad week and then got upset with Mike. That triggered the anxiousness and I was freaking out on the phone with him, which started triggering the depression and the feelings of selfharm. By that time my mind was just going-going-going so much that I needed someone to take my mind off of things. When Mike hung up the phone, I couldn't think of anyone else to talk to off the top of my head and all I could think of was to hurt myself because doing that shuts my brain up. I freak out and hurt myself and the minute I do that, I realize the stupid thing I did and then my mind is quiet for once. That's just my opinion though, let's see what the psychiatrist says tomorrrow.
Spanish test in t-minus six and a half hours. I'm fucked, since I'm only going to be getting five-ish hours of sleep. Time to lay down and let the sleeping pill kick in. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| I had a rough night last night. I had a rough day. And now I'm typing this quickly before class, just to get it out. I skipped all my classes this morning... slept through them. Skipped my biochemistry class, in which I have a midterm the day after tomorrow and I haven't gone to most of the classes. I'm a little screwed.
I don't know how things got this bad. One minute I'm fine, the next minute I'm picking stupid fights over the phone. And then the next minute, I'm sitting on the floor of the bathroom, calling my roommate in tears because I just burned myself for the first time in years. And now... I just feel kind of numb. I don't care anymore because I can't. I can't let myself feel because I can't cope anymore with all this stress. I always thought that I was the type of person who thrived under stress but I guess I have my breaking points too.
My mom thinks it's because whereever I am, I never really unpack. That it's a symptom of the fact that I never stop going going going to just unpack, physically and mentally. That I never stop to relax. I know that I don't. When I stop to relax, everything hits me and I feel alone. When I'm with people or doing something, I don't think about it as much, so I rarely let myself stop.
I felt so bad for Jess last night. She was on a date and I called her, trying to keep the tears out of my voice but of course she knew. I asked her when she was coming home and she said she was on her way and that I should stay in the apartment. She knows what a hard time I've been having, but I don't think she was prepared when she walked into the bathroom and saw me sitting on the floor in tears with my arm already blistering. I can't cope. I want to drop out of school right now. I almost hospitalized myself last night but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Why? Because I have plans this weekend. Because I have midterms. Because of all these stupid reasons that shouldn't get in the way of making myself better but do. It's like, if I commit myself again, it's admitting to the world that I have a problem and can't cope. But when it's just me crying on the phone to my closest friends and parents, I still have some semblance of a normal life.
I want to go home. That's all I can think of right now. I don't want to come back to the U next semester. I want to go home and just finish my nursing prerequisites at RCTC. I want to get better, but I don't know if I can up in the Cities. Ugh. Who knows anymore. Not me. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I haven't updated this thing in wow... forever. I've been having a really rough time with life lately though, so I think I'm going to use this as a therapy tool, at least for a little bit. It's not like many people use this anymore, so it'll be a little more private than a few years ago.
To begin with, I guess I'll just write a little bit about what's happened since last summer. A lot of stuff has changed, mainly school and my love-life. So let's start with school.
I have decided to change my major, a decision I came to over the summer. I got a job working as a veterinary assistant last February, and while I love working with animals and could see myself becoming a veterinarian, it has led me to realize that I want to work with people more. I thought for awhile about going pre-med, but with my desire to have a family and a relationship and my love of direct care, I decided to go into the field of nursing. Specifically, I want to be a family nurse practitioner, which is in between a nurse and a doctor. This decision didn't necessarily have to come with a major change yet, as I could have graduated with my bachelor's degree and gotten a master's in nursing instead, I decided to go with a longer program and change my major now. Even though my parents and everyone else seems to think it's not a great idea, I think it's the best for me. Yes, it looks good on paper, but I am really unhappy up in the Cities. So I'm applying to the program in Rochester through the U to start next fall, and if I don't get into that then I will stick with my bachelor's in biology and apply for the nursing program later. The bachelor's program also is a slower program, so I feel I will end up being a lot more comfortable with nursing techniques immediately after graduation. Even though it'll be slightly longer and cost a little more than the master's way, I'm pretty comfortable with my decision.
I did recently get a new job too... I am now a Program Counselor with ACR Homes (it's like Bear Creek - homes for developmentally disabled adults) so I will be working in direct care and will be trained as a Home Health Aide. I haven't really done much yet besides in office training, but it'll look great on my resume when applying to the nursing program next semester, and hopefully I will really like it. Getting a job in the veterinary field helped me realize that's not really what I wanted to do, so this job is kind of the make or break for nursing.
Relationship-wise... we all know that Mike and I called off our wedding about a year ago, and then broke up a few months later. Although the way the breakup happened wasn't great (yeah, I did it over facebook/email, but Mike and I both understand the reasoning behind it and that it was the best way), I think it was the right thing at the right time. Mike and I stayed friends for awhile and both started dating other people, and that's kind of where the shit hit the fan. Mike was dating this girl named Danny who was uncomfortable with our friendship to begin with... and when she walked in on me and Mike having dinner at Applebee's, she flipped and told Mike that he had to choose between us. Of course, Mike chose Danny and our friendship ended really badly. We didn't speak at all for four months, except for me leaving him a voicemail to tell him Koala had died. And then, out of the blue, about a month and a half ago Mike started texting and calling me again. Apparently Danny turned crazy (I could have told him that) and they had broken up (which I didn't know until a day or two later). I went down to Rochester to see him that weekend because I hadn't seen him in four months, and one thing led to another and we decided to get back together that day. Since then, things have been interesting to say the least. We've both changed a lot so it's been a challenge to get used to each other again. It's still a work in progress, but things seem to be improving. Sometimes I wish we had taken time to get to know each other and be friends again before getting back together, but overall I'm happy. In the past few weeks things have gotten really bad with my depression, and although it's caused fights between us and I almost ended things because I didn't think it was fair that Mike had to go through this with me, he told me that he would stay with me and help me through this. Times like that remind me what a great guy he is, and the fact that he's standing by my side while I put him through so much crap just reminds me why I love him so much.
Living every day for me has always been a challenge. Since being hospitalized in high school for attempted suicide, I have always been proud of myself for being able to stay off medication and not go into counseling. I've always considered my friends my medication and therapy, but things have gotten so bad lately I can't do it by myself anymore. I finally sucked it up today and went into the mental health office to schedule counseling and medication appointments. Interestingly enough, I don't see it as a failure... I see it as that I'm recognizing that I need help and taking a step towards it, even though it means that I will have to rely on anti-depressants to get me through this. I can only hope that my self-esteem and drive returns soon enough, as I have been skipping a lot of classes lately and taking it out on my friends (especially Mike). I am blessed enough to have understanding parents (who made me cry today by sending me flowers after I called them last night to finally tell them about my issues), a boyfriend who sometimes isn't quite as supportive as I need him to be but is willing to stay with me and try, and a few great best friends who are always there when I need them, especially my roomie Jess.
My goals this week - not to skip anymore classes, not to text Mike when I am frustrated with him, and to stay positive. Things need to change in my life, but they won't change until I start taking a more active part in changing them. I've been way too passive lately, what with laying around in bed and skipping most of my classes, but no longer. Plus I have midterms this week, and I'm kinda screwed for one of them :/
becca | | comments: Leave a comment |
| My summer is quickly coming to a close. When did I start thinking that the end of summer was when I moved back up to the Cities instead of when school starts?
This summer has been nothing but life changing. LIFE CHANGING. I have come to the realization that going to college has made me a completely different person. A better person. Not perfect, NEVER perfect... that will never happen. There will always be something to work on, something to change, but I have never been the person that I am now. I am more outgoing. I am more confident. I am willing to go out of the way to do spend time with people instead of being lazy and cancelling all the time. I am not spending all my time with Mike (although sometimes I want to! Just cause I loves him...) What else has happened this summer? Let's see...
I got engaged to the most wonderful man alive.
I got a minor and I am not ashamed about it. I got it because I saved someone's life, because I (with the help of others) stayed by the side of a man who got drunk and suicidal. I stayed by his side for two hours talking with him and when things got out of control, chose to call the police and stay with him, even though I knew I would get in trouble. I stood up for my beliefs and did not run away from reality, and I would do the same thing in a heartbeat.
I took my first roadtrip, even though it was only to Madison :)
I took a step towards my future by working twelve weeks at Mayo in the most boring job ever (and I'm done tomorrow!)
I stood up to my mother and told her that if she kept treating me the way she was, I was moving out and not coming back. And you know what? SHE STOPPED.
And most of all, I strengthened a friendship with a person who helped me rise out of the ashes over the winter. She brought happiness back into my life up at the U, and I am almost positive that I did the same for her. I do not think that either of us would be the same without each other.
I feel like a new person. A completely different person. | | comments: Leave a comment |
|
Warning: There are a fair amount! The quality went down when I shrunk them too... better quality on facebook. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 10:21 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/jubilant.gif) jubilant |
|
| Today is my 19th birthday! Haha, only one more year of teenagerhood, gosh darn it. I woke up about 20 minutes ago, came downstairs and immediately yelled "What the hell? MOM???" There's a mountain of presents from my family on the table, and I don't understand it. I thought you were supposed to get LESS presents from family after the age of 18, not more! I'm excited for today... I think I'm going to Foster's with Mike and maybe Jess and some other people, and then my sweet little party. Yayness! :) bee | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 11:07 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/excited.gif) excited |
|
| I am so excited/slightly dreading tomorrow! First of all, Jess, Crystal, and I are going to work out at Mayo again after I get off of work. BUUUT here's the catch... Crystal is going into the Marines at the end of August, so she needs to get more into shape. That means that her recruiter is also coming along with us. Sargeant Yearout... please talk it easy on me. I run/lift worth crap. Walking is good enough for me, but not for the Marines :(
Otherwise, Jess and I are going out to dinner (I think working out + dinner is becoming a tradition on Thursdays) and then Mike is taking me to Best Buy to buy my birthday present... a new cell phone! Yay! I'm getting a pink Katana, and I'm excited. It might not be a super new wonderful phone, but it's much better than my old phone annnnd supposedly better than most other phones, from what I here. On Friday, not sure what I'm doing but Saturday Mike and I are going swimming/tanning and then my party is at 7:00. On Sunday I go back to my streak of working every day... but that's not going to last long. I've decided that as soon as the last schedule for July comes out, I'm quitting Best Buy. I was already planning on quitting at the end of the summer (customer service experience doesn't do much for vet school, plus I don't want to have to work over the holiday, cross your fingers I don't have to work Christmas break at Yudof).
Anyways, that's my update so far. I'm actually really excited for Saturday... it's probably going to be like a cozy gathering with maybe 20 people coming overall, and hopefully 5-7 people there at all times. That's what I'm hoping for, if I get that, I will be very happy :)
bee | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 11:27 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/loved.gif) loved |
|
| I am loving this summer, strangely. A lot of crap has happened that I can't go into on here, but just the fact that I have an amazing fiance and some amazing friends makes it all worthwhile :)
Jess called me tonight kind of upset because of some issues and asked me to go running with her, so I picked her up and we went over to Crystal's around 8:30ish and took a walk over by Best Buy. We ended up getting drinks at Dairy Queen and then sitting in my car talking for over an hour and a half about random stupid things and not so stupid things. I usually try to be in bed by 10:00, it's my thing, I don't hang out with people past 10:00 if I have to work the next morning. I mean, I have with Mike once or twice, but we totally just lost track of time and it was just awesome. I'm really sad that Crystal is leaving in August... she's going into the Marines :( But I'll still have Jess, so I'll find some way to survive.
Right about now I love my life. I cannot believe how lucky I am to be blessed with such amazing people around me, who I can goof around with, have serious talks with, and who will stick by my side through really scary times.
bee | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 10:26 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/lethargic.gif) lethargic |
|
| Monday, June 11 - Work at Mayo 7:30-4:00, Barbeque at Mike's with Alex and Alyssa from 6:00-9:00
Tuesday, June 12 - Work at Mayo 7:30-4:00, FREE DAY :) :) :) :)
Wednesday, June 13 - Work at Mayo 7:30-4:00, Coffee/hang out with Hannah around 7:30ish
Thursday, June 14 - Work at Mayo 7:30-4:00, my day of Jess - workout and then hang out after working out
Friday, June 15 - Work at Mayo 7:30-4:00, movie with Bridget and Jessy, PAY DAY FROM BEST BUY
Saturday, June 16 - Work at Best Buy 10:30-4:00, Crystal's open house/street dance from 5:00 onwards
Sunday, June 17 - Father's Day picnic with parentals, work at Best Buy 3:00-8:00
I need to get a personal planner, but until then I will probably do this every week because it helps me remember...
I got a raise today, yay! It's my two year raise. Ugh. I've been working at Best Buy for two years after yesterday. I get paid so well that I don't want to quit after this summer, but then I remember that I have to offer magazines and I want to quit now. I just want the pocket money so I can save up as much as possible, so I can't quit. Otherwise I'd have to dip into my Mayo paycheck, and this way all of my Mayo checks can go immediately into save.
I think my first free day of work will be the day of my party, June 30. I mean, I don't REALLY work on June 23, but there's a morning meeting at 7:00 so I have to get up at the same time I do for Mayo and go into Best Buy, so it's not really a day off.
This summer has been pretty fun so far, if I may say so myself. Yeah, I barely have time to sit down, yeah I'm stressed, but I'm earning tons of money, getting great experience, and hanging out with old friends almost every day. Plus I'm getting to know Mike's sister better and that's always an awesome added bonus. It just gets a little overwhelming sometimes...
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 10:28 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/tired.gif) tired |
|
| I am back from my road trip! Short, but oh so sweet :) We didn't get to go to the Dells because it rained, but we amused ourselves by wandering around State Street, relaxing, and going to see Knocked Up on Saturday night. The drive wasn't too bad, about three and a half hours, and my mom's townhouse is beautiful. If I go to Madison for vet school, my parents told me that I can live there (with Mike, of course, since we'll be married). I'd just have to pay rent. When we got back from Madison, Jess and I got dressed up and went out to dinner at Olive Garden with Jenna. It was so insanely fun! I missed that girl :) :) :) But tomorrow I have to work 7:30-4:00 and 6:00-10:00 at Best Buy... 12 1/2 hours with pretty much an hour in between to get read (45 min bus ride and leave 15 min early for work). I got my schedule for next week at Best Buy too, and I work Saturday and Sunday again which means I work every day until the 16th as of right now. Thirteen days straight, 110 hours. Ick.
bee | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 03:56 pm | | Current Mood: | excited |
|
| Mike: "Are you sure you wanna marry me?"
Becca: "No."
Mike: "What?! The answer was supposed to be yes!"
I'm leaving for the Dells in two hours! YAY! A weekend of non-stop Jessica to the power of two fun in my mom's townhouse! :)
Pictures will come. Pray for my safety that the car that I once killed decides not to kill me... and that the tornado watch and severe thunderstorm/hail go away before we start driving...
bee
P.S.
*Becca hits Mike on the arm after he does something inappropriate*
Mike: "Ow!"
Becca: "You know, there's a way to stop getting hurt."
Mike: "But we're both smiling and having fun, why would I stop?"
Becca: "Because you're getting hurt..." | | comments: Leave a comment |
| 
I love these people with my whole heart... I should, I'm marrying the one on my right and joined at the hip to the one on my left! It's like a cutie sandwich with Mikes as the bread :) Mike, me, Jess, Crystal, and Mike, all from Best Buy (it was a girl at work's birthday party) I was also a tad sunburned... :( | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 10:08 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/ecstatic.gif) ecstatic |
|
| Soooo... guess what?
I got engaged today! That's right. I have a pretty diamond ring on my left finger and the tentative approximate date is set.
In early June 2010 I'm gonna be Mrs. Michael Robert Conard!!!
Pictures to come of the ring... Jess and Maddie actually screamed when I came into Best Buy to told them... and our parents are actually pretty happy. I'm gonna have a sister-in-law :)
bee | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 09:05 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/busy.gif) busy |
|
| So I didn't quite get a 4.0 BUT I got on the Dean's List! w00t! That's HARD to do, to! I'm so proud of myself... I don't think I'll ever have a chance to get a 4.0 again (Physics and Organic Chemistry coming up) so my goal is to get on the Dean's List every semester from now on. HOW GOOD would that look on a job application? I mean... seriously.
I just finished my first week of my new job... it's boring, but okay. Everyone's really nice too, and I think my supervisor really likes me. I'm still a little shy and the only summer "intern" there, but two other girls start next Wednesday, so hopefully it won't be as weird then. Hopefully I don't have to share my cubicle either. Grrr. Next week is going to suck, though. On Sunday I work 9:30-3:00 at Best Buy, and then Mayo 7:30-4:00 Monday-Friday, and then Best Buy again 2:30-11:00 on Saturday. That's almost 60 hours of work... I think I'm going to die. I'll have next Monday off for Memorial Day and then the weekend after that off because I'm doing the Dells roadtrip that weekend. I'm soooo excited! Ahhhh!
I saw Shrek 3 last night with Mike, KK, and Ana. It was actually really cute and pretty funny. I think I liked the first one better, though... but I haven't seen it in awhile. The Grey's season finale was last night too, so Jess came over and we watched it with my mom... and Jess started CRYING at the end (when Christina is freaking out because Burke left). That girl is so cute. I love her mucho!
bee | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 01:24 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/awake.gif) awake |
|
| Two A's down... two to go. Sadly the first A I knew about was in chemistry, and I already knew I had an A. Less sadly, the second A was in journalism, where I wasn't quite sure I had an A, but I guess I got one of the highest scores on the final so I guess that pushed me to the definite A mark. No idea what I got on the biology and anthropology finals, though. If I get an A in biology (which I should hopefully find out today), I really don't care if I get a B in anthropology. All I know is that unless I get a C (which is very very very very very unlikely... like... 0%), my GPA isn't going down at all. Yay! :)
Hopefully I find out another grade tonight... and I'm starting my new job tomorrow! Which means I have to be leaving my house by 7:00 am. Sadness. I'm going to die these first couple of weeks, but... I'll get used to it. I gotta. The only thing that sucks is that in the next three weeks, I only have one day off, and that's this Saturday. I work 7:30-4:00 Wednesday-Friday at Mayo, Saturday off, and then on Sunday I work at Best Buy 9:30-3:00, Monday through Friday at Mayo, and Saturday I close at Best Buy 2:30-11:00. No idea if I work next Sunday yet, but I always know I work Monday through Friday!!!
Thank goodness I don't work the next weekend though... I'm most likely roadtripping it up with a couple girls to spend the weekend at my mom's in Madison and play at the Dells! :) Yay!
bee | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 01:37 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/working.gif) working |
|
| Ugh. I am so exhausted. I haven't slept well at all in the past few days and I had a midterm at 8:00 this morning. But I still have tons of studying to do today. Ugh. At least Jess is coming back so I can watch Grey's with her (hopefully) and study and eat oranges :)
Two finals down... two to go. Chemistry and journalism done, biology tomorrow, anthropology on Saturday. I'm kind of worried about my biology final, but I only need a 71% to get an A in the class (as long as the curve is similar to past classes). I thought I would need a 78%, but I got my scores back for the lab final and lecture paper and I got A+ on both. Anthropology I'm worried about... I need a 94% on the final to get a 90% in the class (stupid getting a B on the second assignment... if only I had mentioned food like I was going to!) and the highest I've gotten on a midterm is 92.5%. 92% on the first, 84% on the second (day after the blizzard and school closing, didn't think school would be open the next day so I didn't study like I should have) and 92.5% on the second. Sooo... maybe. It's possible.
At least I know I have at least an A- in chemistry. And I think my journalism final went well enough to get me at least a B+, if not an A. I'm crossing my fingers for tomorrow, Saturday, and until grades are posted.
bee | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 12:07 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/stressed.gif) stressed |
|
| I'm scared for tomorrow... finals start. I figured it all out and right now I need at 82% on my final tomorrow to get an A in my class, a 78% on my biology final to get an A in the class, a 93% on my anthropology final to get an A in the class, and who knows what on my journalism final (he grades crazily).
I'm crossing my fingers so hard. I'll be relieved to have my chemistry final over, because then I can start studying for my other three. Especially biology... I'm REALLY scared for that final. :(
I don't know what I'm going to do for the next week... my best friend is going back to Rochester and we hang out EVERY day, we're attached at the hip and I was in Rochester this weekend so we didn't get to hang out much... I'll figure something out. I'll probably hang out some with Bridget and Ashley. But I'll be studying so much I shouldn't be lonely, right??? Haha.
bee | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 12:30 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/exausted.gif) exhausted |
|
| Blech. I want to curl up in a ball and die a little. My day has SUCKED. Seriously. Not sucked in a terrible way but... here's what I've done...
8:30 am - Woke up for Chemistry lab
9:00-10:00 - Chemistry lab
10:30-12:30 - Worked on my essays for the biology final tomorrow and finished most of my lab book
12:45-2:00 - Biology lecture
2:00-3:00 - Lunch with Ashley at Noodles
3:30-7:00 - Finished essay outlines for biology final tomorrow
7:00-7:30 - Dinner with Greta (roommate next year)
7:30-now - Studied chemistry and finished my biology presentation for tomorrow. Oh, and wrote a paper. Also watched Dancing with the Stars : )
Studying. Pretty much straight studying and preparing for biology lab tomorrow ALL DAY. Ugh. I need to get on top of my game, but after tomorrow I have nothing for classes, so I can pull out the stops for studying for finals and actually study for other subjects besides chemistry.
On a nicer note, Mayo randomly offered me another job today. I'm not sure what the heck it's about, but I went and visited one of the veterinarians there over winter break and we talked and toured the lab for a total of two hours. I think I might have made a bit of an impression. Anyways, I applied for a job there and didn't get it (priority to juniors and seniors who apply) but I got my job I have now, the one in Epidemiology research. But anyways, I got an email today saying that the veterinarian I visited with, Dr. Frisk, wants to offer me a job and there might be an opening. Moral dilemma here... I accepted this Epidemiology job already but this job (if it's actually the opportunity I think it is) is an animal husbandry job... which goes towards my major, counts as experience towards applying to vet school... and it's the job I wanted originally. The problem is I've already accepted the other job, and I'm supposed to start two weeks from tomorrow. Ugh. So I'm getting up early to call H.R. to see what the heck this animal husbandry job is all about, and then if it's something I want, call the program I'm in and try to quit my job. Ugh. Double ugh.
bee | | comments: Leave a comment |
| |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
thequirkyblonde's journal![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/happy.gif){kind=small}
happy